“Is that one and a half?”

Lines on my pregnancy test, that is.

I know that only a few days ago I was extolling the virtues of at-home kits, but this morning they’ve taken me back to scratching my head in confusion.  On most of them, you see one line if you’re not pregnant and two lines if you are, and the second line may be fainter than the first.  But just how faint are we talking here?  Get out a magnifying glass-faint?  Seek out a natural light source and check again-faint?

Why yes, I did get a nice, dark control line and an extraordinarily faint second line that might or might not be an accident.  Why do you ask?

See, just to the left of that strong line? That *might* be a second line. Maybe.

Pregnancy is a binary situation: You are or you aren’t.  You can’t be a little bit pregnant or maybe be pregnant.  It’s a yes or no question.  So why can’t I just get a stick to pee on that will tell me yes or no?

Huh, I just googled and apparently you CAN, in fact, buy some that say, literally, “Yes” or “No,” but they’re about four times the price of the ones with lines that tease you.  *shakes fist at pregnancy test makers*  Why do you do this to women (and their significant others) everywhere?  Why do you make it so hard for us to determine easily whether or not we’re having babies?  Why must we jump through hoops for you?  Why?

I think that they all should say yes or no.  Then we wouldn’t have times like today, when I showed Southern Honey the stick and he asked me “Is that one and a half?”  Talk about anti-climatic!

Anyway, the pack I bought had two tests in it, so I’ll take another one tomorrow or in a few days, depending on my mood.  If I get another “one and a half,” I’ll schedule an appointment with my doc for a blood test, and we’ll go from there.  My breasts are really tender, and I haven’t even started spotting yet, plus I’ve been stupidly hungry for the past week or so, not to mention tired.  I’m just afraid I’ve psychosomatized myself (yes, I just made that word form up) into thinking I really am pregnant, so I require much confirmation.

I want to run around telling people, but I don’t actually know anything more than I knew last night before I went to bed: I might be pregnant.  *facepalm*

Almost that time…

I haven’t posted too much recently because I haven’t had a lot going on on the pregnancy front, and I wasn’t sure how much of anything else anyone would want to read or I would want to share.  Some things are better left unsaid, you know?  Besides, I haven’t been reading many books, and work has kept me from having much time to think about anything else.

Anyway, it’s coming up on time to either pee on a stick or wait on tenterhooks for every woman’s favorite aunt.  I hate to do the latter, as she can be a less-than-punctual bitch when she wants to be, and I’m not known for my vast quantities of patience.  But I have some mixed emotions about the former.  I mean, I’ve never picked up a home pregnancy test in hopes of the response being anything other than, “Congratulations!  The carefree life of a college student is not yet over for you!”

I’m also not sure how I’m going to feel about the results either way.  I suspect I’m not going to be excited if it’s negative, and I doubt I’m going to be disappointed if it’s positive, but stranger things have happened, right?

More, I’m not sure when to take the test.  It’s supposedly most accurate when done first thing in the morning, but what if it’s negative and I get all depressed?  That’s not a good way to start the workday.  I could take it at night, but then I’d be wondering until I could get my hands on another one if the results were skewed by the fact that I didn’t take it in the morning.

No matter what, it looks like I won’t be making a decision tonight or tomorrow morning, as I didn’t make it to the store and therefore have no sticks to pee on.  But who knows?  Maybe said aunt will show up and render the whole thing moot.

The only thing I’m not sweating at this point is what kind of test to get.  These days, one is pretty much as accurate as another.  Even the Dollar Store ones.  So, provided my period doesn’t make a somewhat unexpected entrance, stage-right, I’ll stop by WalMart tomorrow and maybe have a new post by Thursday.