Category: Breastfeeding

The end of an era

The era of breastfeeding is coming to a close for me, I think.  My body seems to be throwing in the towel, and there’s not much I can do to fight it at this point.

I’ve gone back and forth several times before, saying despairingly, “I can’t do it!  I just can’t keep up!” before having my supply bounce back to barely-acceptable levels.  This time, however, that isn’t happening.

I think I’ve made my peace with this.  Actually, I didn’t originally think it would be that big a deal.  I thought I was fine with breastfeeding or formula feeding, whatever worked out for us.  But the longer I tried breastfeeding, the harder it became to deal with the fact that my supply was insufficient for the Munchkin’s needs.  It was add formula or have him starve.  And the thought that I couldn’t provide for him hurt in ways I was completely unprepared for.

I’m not looking forward to the day when I feed him his last breast milk bottle.  It still feels like something of a failure — my body is letting him down, failing to live up to perfectly normal expectations of it.  Despite that, I know that I have to let it go at some point, because otherwise I’ll be miserable.

We’ve worked him up to two bottles of formula for every one bottle of breast milk.  Now I guess it’s time to start weaning them out completely.  I’d say it will take another week or so.  Then another week or two of pumping on top of that to build an emergency supply back up just in case.  I guess by September the era will be over.  :/


Dear Boobs

Please stop sucking at providing milk.  Kthxbye.