Lines on my pregnancy test, that is.

I know that only a few days ago I was extolling the virtues of at-home kits, but this morning they’ve taken me back to scratching my head in confusion.  On most of them, you see one line if you’re not pregnant and two lines if you are, and the second line may be fainter than the first.  But just how faint are we talking here?  Get out a magnifying glass-faint?  Seek out a natural light source and check again-faint?

Why yes, I did get a nice, dark control line and an extraordinarily faint second line that might or might not be an accident.  Why do you ask?

How many lines is that again?

See, just to the left of that strong line? That *might* be a second line. Maybe.

Pregnancy is a binary situation: You are or you aren’t.  You can’t be a little bit pregnant or maybe be pregnant.  It’s a yes or no question.  So why can’t I just get a stick to pee on that will tell me yes or no?

Huh, I just googled and apparently you CAN, in fact, buy some that say, literally, “Yes” or “No,” but they’re about four times the price of the ones with lines that tease you.  *shakes fist at pregnancy test makers*  Why do you do this to women (and their significant others) everywhere?  Why do you make it so hard for us to determine easily whether or not we’re having babies?  Why must we jump through hoops for you?  Why?

I think that they all should say yes or no.  Then we wouldn’t have times like today, when I showed Southern Honey the stick and he asked me “Is that one and a half?”  Talk about anti-climatic!

Anyway, the pack I bought had two tests in it, so I’ll take another one tomorrow or in a few days, depending on my mood.  If I get another “one and a half,” I’ll schedule an appointment with my doc for a blood test, and we’ll go from there.  My breasts are really tender, and I haven’t even started spotting yet, plus I’ve been stupidly hungry for the past week or so, not to mention tired.  I’m just afraid I’ve psychosomatized myself (yes, I just made that word form up) into thinking I really am pregnant, so I require much confirmation.

I want to run around telling people, but I don’t actually know anything more than I knew last night before I went to bed: I might be pregnant.  *facepalm*